This afternoon I had one of those moments – the kind where I feel like a complete failure. Again. Like I messed up in this one very important area, AGAIN. The area I’ve been trying to improve, because it is very important to someone who I love very much, and he is very important to me. (Go ahead, guess who.)
1. The past came back to haunt me. A day I had put in the wrapped box of my past, and chalked up as a success, and therefore thought no more of, until a random circumstance brought it to the forefront of our attention.
2. I started to question my competency. “I know I’m not that stupid or careless,” I told myself, but the facts of that day still stood, staring me in the face in a kind of child-like game of “nah nah ne boo boo”.
3. I started to question, for the umpteenth time, if I take on too much. Good, life-giving things. Serving things. Loving things. Things that energize and impassion me. Things I do for my kids, friends, and family. Wondering if I didn’t say no to enough of those things, even though I thought I did.
Do you see what happened here? John 10:10 and 1 Peter 5:8 say, “The thief comes only to kill, steal, and destroy… Prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for someone he can devour.” And John 8:44: “He is the author of all lies…”
The devil’s lies were trying to convince me I am something I’m not. A failure, an imposter, a stupid, incapable child who will never get better in this one area.
But he forgot something important – or was counting on me forgetting it: I am a child of the one true King. I’ve been set free from the power of the enemy in my life. When I remember the Father’s perfect love for me, it casts out all fear of failure. Why? Because His grace is sufficient for me, and His power is made perfect in my weakness.
Cue sigh of relief!
You remember that story of Jesus feeding the 5000? Remember all He was given was 5 loaves of bread and 2 measly little fish. But Jesus, “taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, gave thanks and broke the loaves.”
Jesus did not worry for lack. He didn’t wallow in the problem: that they didn’t have enough food or money to feed such a large crowd. No, instead of dwelling on the problem, He looked up to His loving Father, Jehovah Jireh, God our provider, and gave thanks for what they had.
He broke the loaves anyway. He just went, and did, anyway.
Gosh what a lesson! It doesn’t really matter if I’m not enough – because Jehovah Jireh is ALWAYS enough.
Remember how it ended? Not only did they miraculously feed the 5000, they had 12 basketfuls left over!!!! Our God likes to show Himself strong. We just need to keep our eyes on Him, and off our problem. Our God is not a God of lack. He says to bring our full tithe into the storehouse, and He will pour out so much blessing that we will not have room enough to receive it (Malachi 3:10).
I think the lessons here are these:
1. Just show up with what you have.
2. Give thanks for it, even if it doesn’t seem to be enough.
3. Keep your eyes off the problem, and on His amazing grace.
4. Watch God multiply what you have, just like He did with the fish and loaves.
So, today, if you’re looking at your failures thinking, “I’m just not enough!”, dwell on this instead:
You’re not supposed to be, because He is.
#LoveWell because #LoveWins