A Mother’s Take on Intimacy

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1 Corinthians 7:2,3
each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.

1 Corinthians 7:5 – Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time…

On the sixth day of creation, God created us:
So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them. 
– Genesis 1:27

God created Male…. and Female. Different, for different purposes.

He knew that men would desire physical intimacy more than women. This is not a surprise to Him, or an accident. He gave men a physical desire, and women an emotional desire.

We’ve all heard stories or statistics about how physical intimacy effects men and women differently – usually as a warning to non-married adolescents. But this was not an accident. God did it on purpose.

He created each of us individually ON purpose, FOR a purpose. Is it so hard to believe that he also created male and female tendencies on purpose and for a purpose? He had a plan.

He knew – in fact planned – that we women will be Proverbs 31 women.

Have you read Proverbs 31??? That woman did it all!

And while we may not necessarily check all the exact same boxes she did, or complete the same exact activities, or possess the exact same gifts she did, it is in our nature to do our best to give our best in every area of our lives – our relationships (building and maintaining them), our finances, our talents, our homes, to support our churches, families, friends, and communities. And God created us this way because He knew the world would need us to be this way.

But I think God knew we would be so easily tied up in these things, and so preoccupied taking care of others that we might forget to take care of and enjoy ourselves. (Sound like anyone you know?)

So he created male and female… “male and female He created them.”

There are times when if it were up to me, I would not take time for or spend money on a date night if my hubby did not suggest or assure me that we should and can. It’s not because I dislike his company. I just feel a responsibility to other things. You see, my natural instinct is to sacrifice my desires for someone or something else. And if I feel that way, I assume my husband will too.

But God did not create man this way – and that was the best thing He could’ve done. (If you know the God of the Universe, you will not be surprised at this.)

God created us women to be organizers, list-makers, Do-ers, Feel-ers, Listeners, Care-takers. He knew we would zero in on those roles that cause us to put others first, so He created man with a strong physical desire to help remind us to enjoy our husbands.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights… – James 1:17
Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy.
– 1 Timothy 6:17

And God gave us a desire to be a mother. When asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, my desired occupation fluctuated throughout the years. But what never changed was the desire, above all, to be a mom. In fact, the older I got, the more my occupation was viewed through a filter: Can I be a mom and make this work, and how? Back then, of course, I had no idea what being a mother really meant or what it would entail. But even now that I know the challenges it presents and the patience it takes, it is the best, most enjoyable and rewarding ‘occupation’ I could ever have. I have a heart of a mother.

I can learn a new skill quickly. I can perform it efficiently. I can analyze it and decide if there is a better, quicker way. I can complete necessary tasks and excel above what is expected. I can even do all these things while simultaneously enjoying my work. I really do enjoy my job. In fact, I have found joy in every job I’ve held.

But I am not passionate about any job I’ve had – NONE of them – like I am about being my kids’ mom. I am truly honored to be their mom. I marvel every day at how blessed I am to have such amazing kids. Really – I don’t think I could ask for better ones. And it’s not because they’re perfect (they’re not). It’s in the unexpected talents. The funny phrases. The sudden, keen observations. The reactions when they learn something new. I wonder how I was chosen to be the mother to such marvelous little creatures. God could have chosen ANYONE to be their mother and to prepare them for entering the world as grown-ups, and He chose me. (ME!)

But most of all, being their mom is about LOVE. The instant love when you see and hold your baby for the first time. The pride that bubbles up, barely containable, every time they hit a milestone or extend a kind gesture. The growth that occurs in your own heart when you see siblings playing, helping, and loving one another. The decisions made not out of fear, but of confidence in His perfect love.

…And so God gave females the desire to have children and be a mother.

In case you weren’t aware, it just so happens that the only way to become a mother is through physical intimacy – the very thing our husbands most desire, not from an unhealthy or dirty intention our society has sometimes made it to be, but as a way of expressing the love between one another. (I suppose in this day and age you could argue we have science that can help us, but I’m referring to the first and most natural way, before the science existed.)

After we had our first I thought, “there is not ONE thing in the world more intimate than having a child together.”
A whole PERSON is created and literally birthed out of the love you have for one another.

Children = love.  In so many ways.

And so God created male and female… male and female He created them.

He gave man the physical desire to express love, and woman the desire for emotional love that creates, grows, and nurtures relationships.
He knew that neither of us on our own would be able to do both roles successfully. But each of our strengths, when they come together, complete the other.

male and female

And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh…”
– Genesis 2:23
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. 
– Psalm 127:3

A big shout out to my hubby, who always reminds me to slow down and enjoy life. ❤
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